Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose

Heather Squire reads Hard Bones at home. 15 chapters/videos. Just under 3 hours total play time.

The country is on fire and I am nominating myself to do something about it. Not because I am special or want to be a leader, but because I think that everybody who can should find the courage to stand up – I’d be a hypocrite “shoulding” other people if I wasn’t prepared to make some sacrifices myself. And not the courage to use guns or throw hands, but the courage to let go of dreams of a high-status job or getting a new phone every year in order to give time and money to build a movement. We cannot wait for the perfect organization or politician to come to our rescue – they don’t exist and nobody actually thinks that liberation will come from the Ford Foundation anyway. The first purpose of Hard Bones is to make enough money for me to survive for the next few months (I make $5 for every e-book I sell). With my basic needs covered, I can devote myself fully to incubating Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires.

Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires is an anti-capitalist organizing startup whose mission is to bring disaffected millennials into what can broadly be described as the movement for a democratic society and economy. Zoomers are the clear leaders of this movement, however, there are still plenty of things that millennials can contribute. By focusing on mental illness, meritocratic ideology, and masculinity, PEB will attempt to reach depressed, downwardly mobile, and lonely millennials where they are at. Obviously #NotAllMillennials are depressed, downwardly mobile, and lonely, but there are an awful lot of us. The second purpose of Hard Bones is to meet people where they are at through my own vulnerability. I have literally nothing else to give. I would have set up an OnlyFans account or a GoFundMe page or a makeup pyramid scheme, but they are just not my style (but they may be possibilities for you to start raising money!).

The third purpose of Hard Bones and (Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires) is to build solidarity between the pro-democracy social movements in the US and Thailand, as well as other countries in the future. I’m primarily focusing on the pro-democracy movement in Thailand right now because of my personal connection to the country through Muay Thai and friendship. I am also very impressed and inspired by the movement technologies employed by the Thai protesters – ideas and actions that foster connection, joy, and safety. $2 from every Hard Bones e-book sold will go to support the Thai movement.

Hard Bones is imperfect, as we all are. All I have ever wanted from life – besides love/food/water/shelter – is to give myself over fully to the work of making another world possible (just ask Father Phil Florio SJ – I once considered becoming a nun*). If you don’t know that about me, it just means we haven’t had a deep conversation – yet. I have included a lot of citations to make the more journalistic/essay portions of Hard Bones as accurate as possible, but I recognize that there are likely to still be mistakes. I only ask that you look at Hard Bones in the context of my life and other writing, assume good faith, and let me know where I messed up so that I can make it better for the next edition. We have a long battle ahead that will be scary at times – our lifetimes will be marked by intensifying climate disasters that our government leaders won’t be able to face or mitigate until we vote the Boomer dinosaurs out of office. Biden is going to force austerity down our throats while corporations get bailed out. We can’t just sit around and do nothing. 

*it really should be woman religious, but nun sounded better in the little clause

If you would like to read Hard Bones but cannot afford the $9.99 or you don’t have an e-reader, I can send you a PDF for free. Just email contact[at] to request it. If I get a lot of requests, I will just post the file to social media. If you would like to make a donation to my work, here is my info: Venmo (@heather-squire), PayPal (, or Cahsapp ($squireheather).

One last thing. You will find the pacing and prose of Hard Bones choppy in some places. This is somewhat intentional. I tried to keep my editing as minimal as possible after my first draft because I wanted to capture a raw sense of how it feels inside my brain – the layers of meaning and consciousness that dance around any one particular thought. Not that I think my thought process is special. I think we all think in this way. But I do think I am skilled at describing that in a way that people can relate to and feel in their guts. That’s part of the entertainment value I am giving you with this book. Thank you again ❤️🖤✊🏼

Wait! Two more things. 1. I have a lot of strong opinions in the book. I recognize that some of them might make some people think I am an asshole. I just want to say that I accept that and I also don’t profess to be 100% correct. I’m not a guru or someone with political aspirations. 2. I write about my spiritual and mental health journey to share my story and offer that there may be some therapy or treatment out there that could help you get some relief. I am not saying my path is a path to follow – AT ALL. I just want to validate passionately that putting a lot of effort into calming your mind or seeking deeper truths is a 100% valid and human thing to do, even if it doesn’t make you rich.

Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose

Help Me Raise $1 Million for Organizing!

I am excited to announce that my novella, Hard Bones, is now available as an e-book for pre-order on Amazon. Order now and it will be sent to you on December 24th – just in time to cure your Christmas boredom! $2 from every purchase goes to support the pro-democracy movement in Thailand!

My dreams for this book do not stop with people reading it. Of course I need the money too – I am unemployed. My first goal is to raise $25,000 through book sales. For every $10 e-book, $3 goes to Amazon, $2 goes to the Thai protestors, and $5 goes to me. This means I just need to sell 5000 copies, which will be doable with your support! With that $25,000 I will launch Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires, a strategic organizing firm that seeks to build the critical infrastructure necessary to link pro-democracy and ant-fascist social movements across the US and across the world. Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires will be managed as a worker cooperative, meaning that it will have a democratic structure and all profits will be shared. Once PEB is launched, we will be crowdsourcing $1 million dollars to build out an office and hire ten organizers to work for a year on campaigns and building out our innovative money-making model. Please see below for my tentative business plan (not including the profit part, which is still incubating in my imagination). In the mean time, follow Permanently Embarrassed Billionaires on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter – we will start posting content soon!

Hard Bones tells the story of my relationship to Muay Thai and eventual pilgrimage to Thailand in search of authentic training and to heal my body and brain. Through that narrative, I discuss Thailand’s Covid-19 response, the Thai pro-democracy movement, racism in US housing policy, and the converging movements for racial and economic justice in the US. There are also themes of loneliness, isolation, alienation, mental illness, masculinity, tourism, Buddhism, and radical self-love. I hope that this book can help people find some hope in these dark days.

Help Me Raise $1 Million for Organizing!